Going through some rough patches in my life. Hoping to hit rock bottom believe it or not. It may be the only way I can get to my core programming. I will be more than glad to help if/when I get through this.
I can tell you this now though.
The world is not supposed to be like this. There is a way to make dreams reality but it would only serve in fucking things up more if it doesn't include everyone. Everything we do to try to change ourselves or the people around us is a natural reaction to the unnatural state this world is in right now. But if you ask for it and you are sincere the world will conspire to change you. The world will conspire to open your eyes for the first time so that you may see the truth in all things.
That is my problem. I lack sincerity. It is our convictions that determine which lines we will cross and which we refuse to, even under the greatest duress. I am just afraid that I may find underneath all the scar tissue that has formed around my most precious memories ...indifference. I am afraid that I may find that I really don't give a shit about anything.
If that is the case. How could I even call myself human anymore?
The Anonymous Prophet now treads The Infinite Narrow and leaves a trail to follow.
Wow. This just cuts right to the marrow. And something very similar to what I'm working through as well. I don't think I could even come close to saying it with such starkness, and maybe that's why I haven't written about it in my own blog, but I can relate. Deeply. Horrifyingly. Thanks for having the courage to put into words some of the raw pieces that need to be given name.
ReplyDelete